When the Table Gets Awkward: How to Navigate Food and Body Comments this Holiday
Holidays are a beautiful time for connecting with loved ones and making memories. But, they can also be filled with uncomfortable commentary about food choices, bodies, weight, and life decisions, casually passing across the table like a basket of dinner rolls. If you’re trying to heal your relationship with food, practice Intuitive Eating, or find acceptance in your body, these comments can make it especially challenging. The good news is: you’re allowed to protect yourself and your peace by setting boundaries. Boundaries are not just healthy — they’re essential. Here’s how to navigate food and body comments this holiday season with self-compassion and confidence.
Why Boundaries Around Food and Body Talk Matter
Food and body comments—even ones that seem “harmless”—can trigger shame, comparison, or old dieting mindsets. These comments often reflect cultural fatphobia, internalized food rules, diet culture ideals, or someone else’s anxiety about food or their own body.
Setting boundaries isn’t about controlling other people; it’s about supporting your emotional well-being, strengthening trust in your body, and protecting your healing journey.
Common Scenarios—and How to Respond
Below are examples of typical holiday comments friends or family may make, and Intuitive-Eating–aligned ways to respond. Use these as inspiration for finding language that feels right for you.
1. The “Should You Be Eating That?” Comment
Them: “Are you sure you want seconds?”
You could say:
“I’m listening to my body, and it’s telling me I want more, thanks.”
“I feel best when I focus on enjoying my food without judgment.”
“Yep, I’m sure!”
2. The Diet Talk Spiral
Them: “Ugh, this tastes good now, but I’ll have to get back on my diet next week.”
You could say:
“I’m focusing on being present and enjoying my food.”
“I’m trying something new where I don’t talk about dieting. Can we shift the conversation?”
3. The Moral Food Police
Them: “That’s so bad for you. I would never eat that.”
You could say:
“I’m working on not labeling food as good or bad. It helps me have a healthier relationship with eating.”
“Food has not moral value — All foods give us something.”
4. The Body Analysis
Them: “You look like you’ve lost/gained weight!”
You could say:
“I’d rather not talk about my body.”
“I’m focusing on how I feel, not how my body looks.”
5. The Concern-Trolling Moment
Them: “I’m only saying this because I care…”
You could say:
“I appreciate your care, but my healthcare and body decisions aren’t up for discussion.”
“I feel most cared for when we connect in ways that aren’t about my body.”
“If you care about me, you’ll respect my boundaries by not making comments about my body/food choices.”
Boundaries Can Be Direct, Gentle, or Firm
You get to choose the tone that fits your relationship and your comfort level when setting a boundary. Here are some examples:
Gentle Boundary
“I know you mean well, but comments about food and bodies aren’t helpful for me.”
Direct Boundary
“I don’t discuss dieting or body size. Let’s talk about something else.”
Firm Boundary
“I’ve asked that we avoid this topic. If it continues, I’m going to step away.”
Remember: Boundaries are not rude. Repeated disrespect is.
Prepare Yourself Ahead of Time
1. Identify Your Non-Negotiables
Your non-negotiables guide the boundaries you’ll set. Maybe it’s no body talk. Maybe it’s no comment on your plate. Maybe it’s avoiding weight-loss conversations altogether. Know what you will and won’t engage with before the holiday starts.
2. Lean on Support
Text a friend beforehand who can hype you up and help you build courage. Create a signal with your sibling or partner for when you want them to change the subject. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
3. Plan Breaks & an Exit Strategy
Holidays can be fun and exciting, but they’re also often stressful and overstimulating. Remember that taking breaks is a form self-care. Go on a walk, get some fresh air, or take a quick breather in another room for grounding. If those aren’t accessible, spend a few extra minutes in the bathroom to get some quiet, alone time.
Reminders for the Holiday
Your body does not need to be smaller, flatter, or more "disciplined" to deserve joy, connection, or food.
You do not need to justify your hunger, food choices, or body size.
You do not need to earn your meal.
Your body is worthy at the table — and always has been.
Intuitive Eating teaches us to trust our bodies, honor our bodily cues, and make choices rooted in care rather than guilt and shame. Boundaries support this by creating emotional space for you to stay true to your values, even when others are not on the same journey or disagree with you.
Closing Thoughts
You’re allowed to protect yourself from conversations that feel harmful, draining, or simply annoying. It takes practice — and courage — to honor your limits, but every boundary you set is an act of self-respect and self-care.
This holiday season, may you feel secure, supported, and unapologetically connected to your own needs and values.
